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PLAG 10 YEARS

The beginnings of PFLAG in Dunedin were about fourteen years ago, with the suicide of a young gay man, after his family could not accept him. Out of their grief, his friends made a decision to start a group to support families as they learned to understand and accept their gay family members. The PFLAG group they formed had its first meeting in a church hall in 1999.

We were a mixed group; gay straight, old, and younger. The one thing we had in common, of course, was that we were all in families where someone was gay. Some of us who were at the original meeting have remembered how we felt; all shy, all uncertain of each other, and not knowing what we were meant to do at a PFLAG meeting

Development

At our first meeting in May 1999 we were all asked to write our stories. At later meetings these were read. As we listened to each other we began to understand and trust one another. One story was published in a magazine which brought us the beginnings of some (rather scary) publicity.

In 2000, Marion Thomson, Euan 's mother, welcomed us into her home for meetings. Somehow, those meetings always began with hugs, and we began to feel more like a family. Once the group was bigger though, we moved to Community House where we have been ever since.

Achieved over 10 years:

This is not the place to write at length about the last ten years, but looking back, we are pleased with all the work that has been done:

We have supported many GLBT people, and their families.

We have established a cell phone help line

We have established links with other groups in the community, health services, Public Health South, mental health teams, the Injury Prevention Research Unit, mental Health services at the hospital, and various youth services, the police, doctors, schools, and UniQ.

Provided educational leaflets for all of the above.

We have links with PFLAG (and the UK FFLAG) organizations in other parts of the world

We have been interviewed for television and radio, and have also featured in the ODT several times.

For the last eight years we have been privileged to take part in a panel on sexual orientation for 3rd year students of psychological medicine

We have had a stall in the Otago Youth Mental Health expo three times

We have taken part in Pride Week with a presence in the Octagon

We have had parliamentarians Georgina Beyer, Maryanne Street, David Benson-Pope and Tim Barnett to speak to us

We protested outside the Destiny Church!

We have started a group for young GLBT people

We donated books to the libraries of all Dunedin High schools

We established a website which has been well used, several of us published our stories there.

We provided leaflets at the Public Library estimated at about 1000 over 5 years

We have taken part in several panel discussions at the University, the Injury Prevention Research Unit, and the Methodist church

Have we been changed by this?

In all of this we have felt our way, not at all sure of ourselves, often scared to death! What kept us going was that we wanted to make a difference.

What has made PFLAG worthwhile?

We have all learned a lot about our gay family members, and ourselves!

We have all discovered new abilities, new strengths

PFLAG has provided support so that our anger could help us to overcome our fears so we could work for justice for GLBT community.

The feeling, standing in public beside a rainbow flag, pride ,finding strength together, but feeling vulnerable about the reactions at first, then learning to realise that hostility is just an expression of fear and ignorance, but we were often pleasantly surprised by the people who came to speak to us,

Standing outside the Destiny church with our trusty Rainbow flag at the time of the infamous Wellington "Enough is Enough" march.

At first, feeling unsure of how to approach a health professional, later pleased at being able to respond to a health professional who requested leaflets

Being able to listen and reassure people who ring the helpline, even if they don 't want to come to meetings.

The privilege of meeting and being trusted by so many people in the gay community.

Many times when people at meetings have visibly relaxed and felt among friends. Laughter and tears, being real.

Seeing members all talking and enjoying themselves at suppertime.

Meeting wonderful people

We remember with thanks: founders Marion Thomson, Euan Thomson and Malcolm Gould, Rev Eric Brodie, Yvonne Wilkie and Lisa Ward and Rod and Joan Madill.

We are also grateful to several groups overseas who advised and helped us in our early stages,and allowed us to use their educational materials , notably Manchester FFLAG, Parents Enquiry Scotland, PFLAG Victoria, PFLAG Sydney And Parents Enquiry Scotland.

In the last three years we have not been getting the numbers of new parents at meetings, that we had before.

A comment from an FFLAG group in the UK mentions they were finding the same and thought that perhaps the needs have changed, perhaps the climate is more accepting than before. We find that many parents don 't want to come to meetings, after their first enquiry, some are busy, others find information on the website.

So we are now offering to talk on the phone, or to meet parents individually in town for coffee or an email contact if they prefer it. We have decided to have for a support meeting just four times a year ,unless we find needs change.

Recently our efforts have been concentrated on providing a meeting place for gay youth. This has been a success.

Hopes and plans for future

1. To get the website properly updated and regularly supplied with new information and news.
2. We still need to find someone who can put our writings on the web but working on this.
3. To re visit all Health professionals with our leaflets
4. To continue to run the Youth Group
5. To continue to offer speakers from PFLAG.

Sue Thompson - Past president
Jill Jones - president

COPIES OF PREVIOUS NEWSLETTERS:

May 2007
June 2006
September 2005
June 2005
December 2004
August 2004
December 2003
March 2002
October 2001
June 2001
May 2001
March 2001